I-Pad
Functionality: B+
Ability to withstand wind-driven rain: D-
Name: F
The thing is, you have to just wonder how that brainstorming session went:
Apple Man: "How about 'i-tablet'? It's like a tablet that you can write on, and it would include the 'i' that Jobs wants us to always start with."
Another Apple Man: "Yeah, how long will he keep insisting on the 'i' prefix?"
1st Man: "I know. He'll die on that sacred cow" (Note: Apple employees are notorious for their mixed metaphors)
2nd Man: "How about 'tbe i-pad'?"
1st Man: "Right - it's like a notepad, and it kind of goes with i-pod . . . ."
The one Apple Woman in the room: "No. No. No. No woman will hear 'pad' and think notepad."
Man: "I don't know what you mean."
Other Man: "Yeah, what are you talking about?"
Woman: "I forgot, none of you have wives. Or girlfriends. Or healthy relationships with women. A 'pad' is a feminine hygiene product."
Man: "Like soap?"
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apple disappoints.
ReplyDeletei-pad:
identification as an apple product: A
usefulness as a weapon in a swordfight: C-
battery life: B
ability to produce snacks: F
also, the apple employees who read your blog are really going to be steamed by this post.
It shouldn't be a concern that Carmen pisses off apple employees. They would all fly from their rediculously expensive houses in California to kick her butt, land in the Minneapolis airport, step outside into the winter, and blow away in the wind.
ReplyDeleteProblem solved.
isn't steve jobs sick with cancer? is perhaps saying that he'll die on a sacred cow a little, um, insensitive? i'm telling you, you are really making those apple employees mad with this business.
ReplyDeleteI-Pad
ReplyDeletemade of chocolate = F
ability to be used by our father = D-
he could probably figure out how to get to YouTube)
controversial superbowl ads = Incomplete
Useless gadget people don't need = A
Pretty soon they will make pockets for the inside of coats where you can store your I-Pad and pull it out when you want to write something done. I long for the good old days when a pen and your hand worked just fine.
As far as for the name, at least they didn't name it the I-Tampon.
Steve Jobs
ReplyDeleteName: B+
Visionaryness: A
Net Worth: indeterminate
Health: D
Ability to seem both totally nerdy and totally cool: strange
I was intrigued by everyone's seemingly endless need to grade things. Then i remembered that I'm the only one to comment so-far that wasn't a teacher at some point in time. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteRachael:
ReplyDeleteHistory of teaching: F
Likelihood of a future in teaching: B
Ability to seem both totally nerdy and totally cool: C+
Made of chocolate: F
Skill with a highlighter: A
My sisters:
ReplyDeleteAbility to create fake report cards: B+
Smell like tomatoes:C
Sense of humor: A-
Similarity in looks to Richard Simmons: F
Skill at making my life more beautiful: A++