Birthday Wish

The thing is that I'm turning 35 this year. Thirty. five. As kids, we never really made a huge deal out of birthdays. Now, however, gifts always seem to be a big deal in my family because we are rarely near each other to celebrate. And while I love love getting gifts, this year I was challenged to consider donating my birthday. You can read about it here. If you're one of my favorite people who gives me a birthday gift, please donate instead so people can live.

Yes, yes I am

The thing is that I never decided to quit blogging. At what point does writing for a very long time turn into quitting? I'm not sure. But I do intend to come back here at some point. Like when I have something to say. Or when I have some time to say something worth saying. Which I have hopes may be sometime soon. In the meantime, here's what has filled my life in the last few months:

Summer camp & fall retreats

Reading great books

Spending time in my favorite place - Little Marais MN

Checking facebook endlessly while never posting

Knitting, a bit

Time on the farm & out in Rapid City

Listening to Pandora (did you know you can max out monthly? i do)

Planning trips to Atlanta (next week!) and NYC (spring?)

Meeting my new foster niece

Joining the world in welcoming a crazy amount of babies (with more on the way!)

Greek Yogurt (Seriously. It's that. good.)

Kari Jobe

Camping with my seester Sara in beautiful WI

Working through a serious case of dog-envy


So, since the world revolves around this blog, what is your favorite thing that you've done since I last posted on May 6th.

Awesomeness

The thing is that I have a new favorite website. Most. Awesome. Thing. Ever. I'm going to suggest "South Dakota" next. What are your suggestions for the most awesome thing ever?

Another Poem

The thing is that I actually stole this from my friend Eva Brandes' blog. She's been posting a different poem every day in April, but this was one of my faves. She found that the word "portmanteau" is "a blend of two or more words or morphemes and their meanings into one new word" and then the title made more sense.

Portmanterrorism

Would it make a difference to say we suffered
from affluenza in those days? Could we blame
Reaganomics, advertainment, the turducken
and televangelism we swallowed by the sporkful,
all that brunch and Jazzercise, Frappuccinos
we guzzled on the Seatac tarmac, sexcellent
celebutantes we ogled with camcorders while
our imagineers simulcast the administrivia
of our alarmaggedon across the glocal village?
Would it help to say that we misunderestimated
the effects of Frankenfood and mutagenic smog
to speculate that amid all our infornography
and anticipointment, some crisitunity slumbered
unnoticed in a roadside motel? Does it count
for nothing that we are now willing to admit
that the animatronic monster slouching across
the soundstage of our tragicomic docusoap
was only a distraction? Because now, for all our
gerrymandering, the anecdata won't line up for us.
When we saw those contrails cleaving the sky
above us, we couldn't make out their beginning
or their end. What, in those long hours of ash,
could our appletinis tell us of good or of evil?

-Nick Lantz, from The Lightning that Strikes the Neighbors' House

Patriotic Gift List

The thing is that it's a national disgrace that there isn't a gift component to the 4th of July. Over Easter my sister Babe proudly displayed her patriotic assortment of wrapping paper. Upon further discussion, however, my family realized with shock that no holiday has been designated to give American-themed gifts. How has this escaped the flag industry? The bunting industry? The temporary tattoo industry? As a nation founded on capitalistic principles (some say), how is that capitalism hasn't capitalized on our nation's birthday yet?

So the Kock family is taking it upon ourselves to begin a new national tradition. We are going to celebrate our nation's birthday by buying things and giving them to each other in patriotic-themed wrapping paper. How can this not take off?

My 4th of July All-American Wish List ($15 spending limit):

*flag or flag-like display*
*bunting*
*temporary tattoo, patriotic themed*
*book by David McCullough, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Stephen Ambrose, etc*
*donation to some American organization, such as the NRA or NPR (or similar)*
*calendar with photos of amber waves of grain, purple mountains, etc*
*American-made product (beer or cars or sugar-laden food-like items)*
*cds (Lee Greenwood, Elvis, Toby Keith, anything rap, jazz or blues)*
*firearm*
*gift certificates to WalMart, McDonalds, Old Country Buffet*
*5 gallons of gas*
*autobiography of someone who has or will run for President*
*dvds of movies about our national disgraces (Nixon, JFK, Platoon, Mississippi Burning, etc)
*bratwurst or cheddarwurst*
*self-help book*
*freedom*

Coveting Coziness

The thing is that I want to live here. And I want this place as my summer home. Can anyone help me out with that? Also, I think they're in Scandinavia, so does anyone know if the 1st-time home buyers tax credit works on foreign properties?

(Thanks to a fave site for the links.)

April and Poetry

The thing is that I think I love poetry. Not all of it, but some of it, and the more I read it, the more I like it. My sister Babe has been a poet forever, but I've always been a prose girl. However, I started reading poetry after I heard Robert Bly read on NPR, and then I started not skipping over the poems in the New Yorkers that I read, and then I started requesting poetry books from the library (which are always available, by the way). Anyway, in honor of April being National Poetry Month, here's one from my (slim) files. I think I love it because Michigan is kind of like Minnesota or like South Dakota so it feels like it might be about me. About us. And I think we all know what it might feel like to want to marry a daffodil.

A Primer

I remember Michigan fondly as the place I go
to be in Michigan. The right hand of America
waving from maps or the left
pressing into clay a mold to take home
from kindergarten to Mother. I lived in Michgan
forty-three years. The state bird
is a chained factory gate. The state flower
is Lake Superior, which sounds egotistical
thought it is merely cold and deep as truth.
A Midwesterner can use the word "truth,"
can sincerely use the word "sincere."
In truth the Midwest is not mid or west.
When I go back to Michigan I drive though Ohio.
There is off I-75 in Ohio a mosque, so life
goes corn corn corn mosque, I wave at Islam,
which we're not getting along with
on account of the Towers as I pass.
Then Ohio goes corn corn corn
billboard, goodbye, Islam. You never forget
how to be from Michigan when you're from Michigan.
It's like riding a bike of ice and fly fishing.
The Upper Peninsula is a spare state
in case Michigan goes flat. I live now
in Virginia, which has no backup plan
but is named the same as my mother,
I live in my mother again, which is creepy
but so is what the skin under my chin is doing,
suddenly there's a pouch like marsupials
are needed. The state joy is spring.
"Osiris, we beseech thee, rise and give us baseball"
is how we might sound were we Egyptian in April,
when February hasn't ended. February
is thirteen months long in Michigan.
We are a people who by February
want to kill the sky for being so gray
and angry at us. "What did we do?"
is the state motto. There's a day in May
when we're all tumblers, gymnastics
is everywhere, and daffodils are asked
by young men to be their wives. When a man elopes
with a daffodil, you know where he's from.
In this way I have given you a primer.
Let us all be from somewhere.
Let us tell each other everything we can.

Bob Hicok
The New Yorker, May 19, 2008

Apologies

The thing is that I am sorry. I must apologize for my lack of postings. I know that the world doesn't notice whether I post on this page, but my Pop does, and I hate to disappoint him. However, I'm tired. I've been working too much, and when I work too much, I'm not funny or witty and I don't have time to think about what I would post on. I'm in survival mode for at least another week. After that, I'll be celebrating Easter with my family and perhaps I'll have something to post on. Perhaps pictures, or witty anecdotes about my delightful family. Maybe a story or two about the road trip home and back. One can only hope.

Soundtracks

The thing is that it was my idea first and I should be the millionaire. Let me sum up:

I firmly believe that each day, each season, each roadtrip (no matter how short) has its own soundtrack. For instance, today on the way to Aunt Annie’s Quilt Shop in Avon MN: a partial episode of This American Life, a little Splendid Table segment on how to encourage your dinner guests to mingle and converse (very good), and Bruce Springsteen. The way home? Some of the Prairie Home Companion joke show and Patty Griffin’s new album. (Yes, I loves me some Minnesota Public Radio)

Summer of 2004: Switchfoot’s “The Beautiful Letdown”, continually on repeat.

Fall/Winter of 1999-2000 trip to see Carla in Albert Lea: The Eagles (especially “New Kid in Town”) and Dire Straits (especially “Brothers in Arms” as we were falling asleep).

(side note: THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO! My twin sister is OLD.)

So imagine my surprise several years ago when I hear about this new gadget the Ipod. Not only can every minute of your day have a soundtrack (heard by you alone), but you can actually sort your music into these very groupings! Genius! I’m still waiting to get partial credit (and maybe a dividend? Or a free Ipod?)

And then, today, I see that Barnes & Nobles sells Sunday Soundtracks. Seriously? That was so TOTALLY my idea! In fact, I’ve actually written a post (unpublished) asking for people’s comments on what they would put on a Saturday soundtrack (because, really, my Saturday is other people’s Sunday). And, of course, the thing is that the Barnes & Nobles compilations weren’t terrible. I try to hate Barnes & Noble’s corporate musical taste, but it too often bears a slight resemblance to my own musical taste. (except the Josh Groban that they played the entire time I was there today. At least it wasn’t Jason Mraz.) Today while browsing I found Lady Gaga next to my girl Patty Griffin, and I just nodded my head in agreement. Who can argue with that pairing? Nice job Barnes. Nice job Noble.

I Love

The thing is, I often don't reflect on blessings in my life. So, right now, I will. Here are some things I love (in no particular order! seriously, I'm mixing it up for affect! Proof: Jesus is last on this list):

my beautiful mom

Patty Griffin

pizza

yoga pants

watching movies

watching movies in my yoga pants

knitting

knitting while watching movies in my yoga pants

Bejeweled

Dramamine

boys in Jamaica (29 in particular)

my pretty cool dad

the fact that my dad loves you-tube

the smell of coffee

Van Morrison

hooded sweatshirts

quilts

books by Anne Tyler

campfires

my brilliant little sister, Babe

superhero movies (again, I can't understand this)

talking politics

Saturdays

public radio on Saturdays

thinking about how to live better

mushrooms (to eat)

my twin, my exact replica, Carla

the fact that I've known some of my friends for 15 or 25 years (or 30!)

facebook (not gonna lie)

shopping bags from Trader Joes

slate.com

my amazing middle sister, Sara

pajamas

changing into my pajamas 3 minutes after I come home

reading magazines

yellow

pedicures

spring freshness

long conversations with people I love

Jesus, my Savior and my Lord



What do you love?

'Puter

The thing is I just got my first real computer. I'm not sure why I haven't really purchased one before, but I think it may have something to do with the fact that I, unlike my sister Sara, almost always regret pretty much everything, especially big purchases. I've only had my computer for a week, so no regrets yet, but I'm anticipating a huge let-down one of these days. Which is probably why this is my first computer purchase in my 34 years of life. I'm not sure what the catalyst for the disappointment will be, but it's really inevitable. Maybe I'll hear about another better deal, or a key will fall off, or I'll realize that I didn't make sure that it came with a _______________. I'm not sure about the specifics, but I'm pretty sure that, generally, I'll regret this pretty soon.


My new computer

Cuteness factor: B-
Price: A- (it was a really great deal!)
Ability to eat up my evenings: strong
Likelihood that it will make me facebook weary: strong
Clickityness: C (it's too loud. i feel like my roommate can tell i'm playing bejeweled blitz)
Proof that I may be an adult: uncontested
Ability to help me file taxes in record time: A++

Wolverine for President

The thing is that I don't understand why I like comic book/superhero movies so much. It's really unexplainable. I hate hate comic books. I don't really like violence. They're sometimes hard to follow.

I also don't understand the appeal of Sarah Palin. I'm not really a Republican, so there's that. Also, I'm not a fan of strong speech or rhetoric purely for it's own sake and inciting feelings in people who already agree with you. (except for Jon Stewart, who is amazing simply because I already agree with most of what he says). And, she's often hard to follow.

So, in closing, it's apparent that though I can't explain why I like superhero movies, I do like them. And, while I can't explain why people like Sarah Palin, I don't like her. Perhaps it's that I like superheros because they aren't like anybody else; Sarah Palin is like alot of people that I know, and maybe that's why she doesn't appeal. I guess she's not ruling out a run for President, but in the Republican primary, I'd vote for a superhero over her anyday.

I-diot

I-Pad

Functionality: B+
Ability to withstand wind-driven rain: D-
Name: F

The thing is, you have to just wonder how that brainstorming session went:

Apple Man: "How about 'i-tablet'? It's like a tablet that you can write on, and it would include the 'i' that Jobs wants us to always start with."
Another Apple Man: "Yeah, how long will he keep insisting on the 'i' prefix?"
1st Man: "I know. He'll die on that sacred cow" (Note: Apple employees are notorious for their mixed metaphors)
2nd Man: "How about 'tbe i-pad'?"
1st Man: "Right - it's like a notepad, and it kind of goes with i-pod . . . ."
The one Apple Woman in the room: "No. No. No. No woman will hear 'pad' and think notepad."
Man: "I don't know what you mean."
Other Man: "Yeah, what are you talking about?"
Woman: "I forgot, none of you have wives. Or girlfriends. Or healthy relationships with women. A 'pad' is a feminine hygiene product."
Man: "Like soap?"

Jamaica, after

The thing is that I'm still emotionally/mentally recovering from my trip to Jamaica Christian Boys' Home to be blogging already. So quit bugging me!

Okay, so my five readers aren't really banging down the door to get me to blog about my trip or about anything else. But I will give you a preview of the greatness that was my trip. (Can you tell that we brought them sunglasses?)

Jamaica!

I won't be posting for the next week because I'm going to be in Jamaica from Jan 18th-25th. I'll be with a team from Community Covenant Church in Upsala MN, and we'll be going back to Jamaica Christian Boys' Home in Kingston, Jamaica. While there, we have three goals. 1. To build relationships with the boys who live there and love them as much as possible in one week. 2. To encourage the staff there, who often work insane hours providing for the needs of the boys. 3. To accomplish several projects around the property, including some plumbing, painting, and roofing projects. My job on the team is as a co-cook, providing meals for our team. And, of course, I'll be spending as much time with the boys as possible! My special love is the younger boys, some of whom are as young as six. We play Connect 4 and Uno, we color and draw, we work on homework, we read books, and we look for Waldo in the Where's Waldo books. It's the best time EVER.

My first experience at Jamaica Christian Boys' Home was in 2008, when I went with these same leaders (Phil & Jan Gerth, for those of you who know them) and the same church. It was such a heart-breaking, faith-building, leaning-on-God experience that I will be very glad to return. My heart breaks for the boys that live there, but God encourages me so much that He cares even more for them than I do.

I need prayer! Our whole team needs prayer! Would you pray with us? Let our prayer be that we will be the hands and feet of Christ, showing these boys love that points them to their heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. For all the fun we have, it won't matter at all if we don't point them to the One who can be close to them every single day of their life, and who died for them out of love for them. Please also pray for our travel experiences, that customs and luggage will go smoothly and that we won't get a high duty "fee" when we enter Kingston. Pray that we would have safety as we work and travel. Pray that we would be purposeful in our times with the boys, that they would be about more than just fun and laughter. Pray specifically for our ministry times in the evenings where we'll be sharing Bible lessons with them. You can pray specifically for me, that I'll have little stress and much joy while preparing meals in a hot kitchen. You can also pray that I won't see any critters that would gross me out while working in the kitchen!

If you feel led, please pray with me. Pray one day. Pray two days. Pray the whole week! Whether you pray every day or just one, whatever you can do, please post below or let me know somehow your commitment so that I know who you are and can report back about the trip. Thanks so much, everyone!

Devastation

The thing is that I have nothing funny or interesting to share when I consider Haiti. I can't even comprehend it, even though I've been trying to process since Tuesday at 5 pm. It's so broken and nobody knows how to fix it - the definition of devastation. What can be done? Pray, I guess, which I've been doing. And give, which I will do but can't at the moment. And remember them. And let this experience change me for the better. And then pray about it again. That's all I've got, so I'll keep doing it. Any other things to do? Please share.

Consistency

The thing is that I think we should all agree to call the Christmas airline (non)bomber "The Underwear Bomber". We called Richard Reed (sp?) "The Shoe Bomber". For the sake of consistency, (and, really, aren't terrorist monikers all about consistency?) I think we need to go with "The Underwear Bomber". I think that Slate.com is onto this already, because every time they write about him they use the word "underwear". Health care and banking regulations aside, this is a campaign I can sign on with.

Or "Underpants Bomber". I'm not sure who uses the word "underpants." (east coast, is it you?) (the elderly, could it be you?) Either way, I think it's clear that this man should clearly be embarrassed about the location of his explosives. And, hey, it could be worse. We could be really cruel and call him "The Panty Bomber". Or, even worse, "The Panty Non-Bomber", because, let's face it, he's quite the failure.

Biscuits

The thing is that my dad is pretty hysterical. For example, every Thursday at 6 am my dad goes to the gas station in town and has biscuits and gravy with the other middle-aged and retired farmers from the greater Chancellor SD area. When he gets home he puts all of the gossip and collected wisdom into an email for his daughters. It is always funny. Like, snort-at-your-desk funny. I've asked him for permission to post his emails, but we're still in negotiations. I will, however, share the poem that he sent last Thursday when he was snowed in (after going to town for biscuits and gravy).

Its winter in South Dakota
The gentle breezes blow
seventy miles an hour
at twenty five below

Oh how I love South Dakota
when the snow is up to your butt
take a breath of winter
and your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful
so I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave South Dakota
My a** is frozen to the ground (my edit)

Thanks, Pop, for another snorty laugh. Love you!

John Cusack disappoints

Haiku -

"Hot Tub Time Machine"
Thanks for saving me time
A movie to skip

The thing is I saw the trailer, and I want those 3 minutes back. I can't imagine watching a movie where the main plot point is given away by the title. Especially that title.

(on a side note, I wonder what has happened to John Cusack, that he would take this role? I was willing to forgive "Must Love Dogs", "Con-Air", but really? I mean, really?)

(discarded haikus below)

Avoid this movie:
"Hot Tub Time Machine" is lame
The trailer told me

I'm sure it's superb.
But can it get past the hype?
"Hot Tub Time Machine"

"Hot Tub Time Machine"
Wonder what the plot could be?
(darn spoiler title)

Is it possible
That I've spent hours thinking
On this stupid flick?

Train (not the band)

The thing is that one time I was riding on a train with my friend Lisa. In the dining car we saw three men in matching blue wool-ish suits with skinny pants and huge lapels. They also had these crazy haircuts and sideburns. I assumed they were being ironic and were in a band. In actuality, they were Amish.

Apparently the Amish do believe in train travel.

Am I blogging?

The thing is that I've considered blogging for awhile. So long, in fact, that it seems like (of course) blogging is now so 2008. However, then I remember that I was born in South Dakota and therefore have been at least two years behind every trend for my entire life. So I think I'll at least give it a try. Plus I just watched "Julie and Julia" and she started a blog and then had a movie written about her.

What will I write about? I'm not sure. Mostly I just want a blog where I can ask my friends to name their top 5 lists on random topics. And, in the spirit of my sister Sara (the one living without regrets) I don't want to regret not at least trying to blog.

The major problem that I see with blogging is that the blogs I love contain either 1. beautiful photographs of everyday events and surroundings or 2. witty writing about spirituality, pop culture, books, craftiness, or life in general. I have no talent for photography, and I'm pretty sure that whenever I try to be witty the only one that is amused is myself. However, I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to get my dad to twitter or blog, if only because it would be hysterical to about 5 people on the planet. If he continues to refuse, maybe I'll just post his hysterical emails on this blog.

So, to sum up, here are my blogging goals:
1. Collect top 5 lists from friends
2. Try to be witty
3. Get a movie to be based on my life
4. Steal my dad's material